To Be or Not to Be...Three

I voted "not" but it happened anyway. Princess Grace is now three.

She was so excited about her birthday this year. She told me she wanted a "fish cake" (Finding Nemo), and brown presents. I'm not really sure what the brown presents were all about, but she got her fish cake. Lindsey's did their usual excellent job on the cake.

I still can't believe she's three. My dad said the same thing. It feels like she should be two; after all, we've only had her for two years. We missed an entire year of her life. I hate that so much.

I've been thinking about Grace's birth mother a lot over the past few days. She's always there, in a sense, in the back of my mind. It seems at birthdays and Christmas, she moves to the front.

We will always be connected, Grace's birth mother and I. We have a shared daughter, after all. She gave her life, then she let her go. I wish I could let her see Grace. I wish she could see how she's grown, how happy she is, how safe, how loved. I wish I could say thank you for our daughter.