We are now a family of four. I am a single mom with three children. It's not what I would have chosen. It's not what Michael would have chosen, but it is our new reality.
On November 10, Mike didn't wake up. Well, he didn't wake up her with us. He got to wake up face to face with God. And while I am so happy for him, I am devastated for us.
I don't really want to talk about that day, except to say I have the most amazing family, the most amazing church family, anyone could ever ask for. Miracle and I called, and people just came. God was truly present with us that Monday. Our next door neighbor just "happened" to be home that day when she would usually be at work. She graciously allowed us to invade her house in our jammies and with a large group of strangers that just kept growing. Kenny, Mike's brother, just "happened" to be off that week on vacation. Two of our pastors just "happened" to be at the church earlier than usual and so were much closer to our house. My family came and stayed and prayed all day. Our best friends from our small group practically moved in. The prayers that were offered up that horrible day were incredible in number.
I have to tell you about what happened the previous weekend. There was this song stuck in my head, He Knows My Name. It would not leave me alone. I even told Mike about it on Sunday. I told him I didn't understand why it was that song. I mean, I like it, it's a good song, but not an especial favorite of mine. But on Monday it became clear why that song had haunted me so. God wanted me to know He knew what was happening, He knew our pain, and He was still with us, He still loved us, that we are precious to Him.
And that is why, in the midst of this horribleness, I have peace. With the tears comes an assurance that we are not alone, that we will be ok. That we are ok. God is with us as He has never been before. I know He loves us. And the best part is, Mike still loves us. In fact, he loves us more now than he ever did when we were together. He's still taking care of us. He made provision for us in case the unimaginable happened. I can still stay home with my kids.
Your prayers would be much appreciated. I know they are the reason I am able to function. Prayers and the overwhelming mercy and grace of God.
1 comment:
You know, I think the BEST line in any song I have ever heard was written by David Crowder. In his new song "Come As You Are" he says "Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can't heal."
I think of you often.
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